JusLakita

  He treated me like a pimple that just appears on your face. At first you ignore it. Then you poke at it. Next you find some cream or antiseptic to help get rid of it. Once it comes to a head finally you squeeze it until there’s nothing left to squeeze.   I wanted to die. I thought about it. This mans actions towards me had reduced my internal thoughts to death. I was depleted. Giving my all to him still wasn’t enough so I thought ‘what’s the point’?  Love. I had to go revisit John 3:16 to re-familiarize  myself with the definition. (Don’t mind this sentence. That’s what I did) I had to posture myself at the feet of God. I’m His daughter. However somehow in this journey I’ve seemed to have lost my way.  Do you want to know what hurts the most? So do I. I’ve played back all of the scenes from the moment we first kissed and I want to yell CUT!!!!    I Never should have been here. I led with the flesh and not the heart. He was a really good time that consequently turned into my reason to

 On November 1 2016, I said ‘I do’. I stood before a judge in a small makeshift chapel in front of the man whom I loved and said til death do us part. (A familiar place) Butterflies fluttered deep inside. I smiled at him and gazed into his brown eyes; he was the one, my forever, so why am I sitting here four years later sharing a not so happily ever after? You grow up learning these rules of expectation. I was taught to tend to the house, be responsible, put others first (family first even if I came in last place), love and honor your husband (divorce was not an option). As I look back I now understand that these rules came from woman who found content in mediocrity. They were just going through the motions. They heard ‘for better or worse’ and ran with it not realizing that it takes two. Well I did it! I said ‘I do’ to the man of my drea..., to the father of my two bo..., to the man who I lov..., okay to this guy who I knew for about 15 years and we dated each other for about seven ye